In what kind of environment, the child’s right to speak is most likely to be deprived of? When the parents take their children to visit a guest or to attend the grand occasion, it is prone to the phenomenon of parents to make decisions on behalf of children everywhere. A French woman repeatedly received her Chinese friends, she really do not understand when she asks the younger guests want to drink something, her Chinese friends answer in this way for the child, “oh, coke hurt teeth, a jar of yogurt is okay.” “He was so fat, how can he eat the cookies, he had better eat a few low-sugar whole wheat crackers.” The French woman repeatedly stressed with blunt Chinese, “I want to know the idea of the baby, and it is baby to eat, not you; why do you want to make a decision on his behalf?”
In fact, in the occasions of guest, the parents deprive children the right to speak, which is that regard child’s performance as the face to manipulate, rather than as an independent person to respect. In fact, let the children understand that his performance on behalf of his own honor is enough, so children can choose their favorite snacks and drinks. Besides, children can also accept the gifts prepared by the master, and as long as his smiling face lit up the wish of the owner. Why do we have to teach children to suppress their nature? More often than not, how much trust you give your child, how much honor he will return to you.
However, how can we both respect the child’s right to speak, and also make him listen to different views? It is necessary to let the children to bear the consequences of their choices. You child may want to buy a jacket and shoes with a bad color, it does not matter. You can buy for him, but when his peers discuss his clothes, he will understand. After a few times, the child will naturally accept your delay program, for example, he wants to buy a fancy hat or a small exaggerated bag, you can say to him: “Can we come back to make decision after several days? Have you forgotten the things that you can only wear the coats because you do not like the new bought jacket last time?”
Moreover, we can give children right to speak, but not led by the nose. We can give him a multiple-choice framework, and provide a wide range of options, to allow him to freely express their views, but the overall direction is still in our hands. For example, “Are you happy to the supermarket with ducklings or the supermarket with baby trolleys today?” Because you give the multiple-choice, it can avoid the unnecessary controversy.