The impact of family education on children is great. Proper education can promote children to grow up and become a useful person; improper education will hinder a child’s development, so that affect a child’s future. So in the family education, you should avoid the following four methods.
First of all, it is threat. Adults are used to talking to children with a threatening tone: “If you do not …, I will …” Despite such threat is deemed useful in the minds of adults, this does not necessarily have the good effect on the children. Because the threat is a challenge to the autonomy of the child, as long as the child has a little self-esteem, he will deliberately work against an adult, in order to show that he is not a coward.
Second, it is to buy your children. Bribe is to plainly tell the kids that you can be rewarded if he does or not do something. Although you can temporarily stimulate the child reaches a certain purpose, you cannot inspire him to persevere in efforts. For children, these words mean to doubt his ability. In addition, it may cause children bargain with parents. Children may learn with “you do not give my reward, and I do not listen to you” to threaten you, so that they will raise more unreasonable demands. However, you can give your children useful or not previously promised reward, this may receive unexpected result.
Third, it is to guarantee. The relationship between parents and children should be equal, and you need trust each other. Parents should not guarantee to the child nor require your children be guaranteed. If the parents must rely on the guarantee to emphasize that what they said is truth, then they must admit what they said with no guarantee is not worth believing. Moreover, guarantee will make children cause unrealistic expectations. The parents should not induce or require your children behave in the future, or do not make mistakes. When children make a not voluntary guarantee, he is equal to open a blank check, so we should not encourage such fraud.
Fourth, it is the irony. Parents satirize your children, it greatly hinders his progress. It often sets a solid barrier to the effective conversation between themselves and children. Sarcastic language would bring the child’s counterattack, which will erect a barrier between parents with children. In the education of your children, the parents should not take the language of irony and sarcasm, and should not reduce the status of the child in his own or in the eyes of his companions.
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